FACADE STAGEPLAY Fri Jul 29 15 22 39 2005 TRIP Where are the new wine glasses? GRACE What for? TRIP That should be obvious! GRACE Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please! TRIP Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here! (Mark knocks on the front door.) (Mark knocks on the front door.) TRIP Uhp, he's here! GRACE What?! You said he's coming an hour from now! TRIP No, he's supposed to be here now! GRACE Trip...! (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP Mark!! (Mark comforts trip.) TRIP Ah I'm so happy you could make it! -- (interrupted) MARK Hi! TRIP Ha ha, hi! TRIP Uh, well, it's -- it's good to see you. MARK How are you? TRIP Come on in! MARK Ok1 TRIP Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace... TRIP (unintelligable arguing) TRIP (unintelligable arguing) TRIP (unintelligable arguing) (MARK knocks on the front door.) (MARK closes the front door.) GRACE Mark, MARK hi! GRACE Hi! How are you? God it's been a while! -- (interrupted) GRACE H-mmm (happy smile sound) GRACE By the way, you look fabulous! MARK I'm great! How are you? GRACE Make yourself at home, come on in! -- (interrupted) GRACE Good...! Good...! We're very good. TRIP Oh, Mark, take a look at this photo I -- (interrupted) PHONE ** RING ** GRACE Oh, I'll get it -- TRIP No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it. PHONE ** RING ** PHONE ** RING ** MARK It's okay. PHONE ** RING ** TRIP Uhh, what? That's -- heh heh, hey, way way wait a second... (clears throat) MARK You can get it. ANSWERING MACHINE ** click ** ANSWERING MACHINE You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip. Leave us a message! ANSWERING MACHINE ** beep ** ANSWERING MACHINE Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while, GRACE Oh, it's your parents! I'll get it -- TRIP Grace, Grace, come on, I don't want to talk to them right now... GRACE I want to say hello -- ANSWERING MACHINE I'm just calling to find out if you've settled in to your new apartment, that's all... TRIP No no, come on, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment... ANSWERING MACHINE Give me a call if you're not travelling, I know you're travelling a lot these days. TRIP the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents. ANSWERING MACHINE Okay, that's all, bye Travis. GRACE Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth -- TRIP Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they wouldn't know what a cumberbund from a cucumber. GRACE (frustrated sigh) MARK I like your parents. TRIP Oh, ha ha, thanks -- GRACE Oh, Mark, you always have such nice things to say. He's so sweet. MARK Have you been traveling? TRIP Oh, Jesus, let's not talk about my parents, heh heh... Heard enough from them tonight. TRIP Yeah, that's a new photo from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago... MARK so, how's work? TRIP Oh yeah, let me tell you about work. I just brought in a new account - print ads for a line of bridal fashion. TRIP Very big. MARK Congratulations! TRIP Yeah, yeah... GRACE Mark, come over here and sit on the couch with me. GRACE Trip, darling, your obsession with that photo of yours is making our friend uncomfortable. (MARK sits on the couch.) TRIP (little sigh) Well this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon. -- (interrupted) MARK It's a nice photo. GRACE Ah you seem to remember how much Trip likes compliments. TRIP Oh, ha ha, I -- TRIP (annoyed sigh) MARK what's new, Grace? GRACE What do you... No, we're fine, I'm fine, everything's fine... GRACE (clears throat) (Trip shakes the advice ball.) MARK How's work? TRIP Oh that -- that's just a little joke advice giver toy thing that I like to consult now and then... TRIP when I need a little guidance. Ha ha. GRACE His mother gave that to him. TRIP Stocking stuffer, heh. TRIP (clears throat) MARK I like your living room. GRACE Oh... well... TRIP That's a nice thing to say, I'm sure Grace appreciates that. (MARK gets up from the couch.) GRACE (clears throat) (MARK picks up a trinket 6.) GRACE Oh, I've been, uh, collecting these sculptures for a while now... TRIP Aren't they cool? Makes you feel like you're in an art museum. MARK It's interesting! TRIP Yeah, yeah. GRACE Oh, God, it's hard to believe I used to like these damn sculptures... (MARK puts down a trinket 6.) TRIP More like obsessed... TRIP But in a good way! GRACE I was not obsessed, I was just... GRACE (little sigh) I don't know. (MARK picks up a trinket 8.) GRACE (little sigh) (clears throat) MARK This one is cracked. GRACE Okay, you know what, I really don't want to talk about this anymore. GRACE I'll be right back. (MARK puts down a trinket 8.) TRIP Grace, what are you -- GRACE No you two keep talking about our amazing apartment and redecorating and furniture all night long, that's fine... TRIP What? Where are you going? GRACE I'll just be in the kitchen. MARK Is she okay? TRIP (frustrated sigh) MARK What's wrong? TRIP Wait, Mark, where -- where are you going? TRIP We're fine, you know, we -- we're fine, this -- this is just... MARK Can I have a drink? TRIP Oh, uh, Grace has been kind of stressed out lately, with work, and, and, and I try to give her advice, but, um... MARK Why is she stressed? GRACE Trip? TRIP Yes? GRACE Trip? TRIP What? GRACE Trip, are you there? TRIP Yes, what? MARK go help her. TRIP uhh... TRIP Hey -- hey, uh... Mark, TRIP I meant to tell you, we're going to have this big, big party next weekend. TRIP Do you -- do you think you can make it? MARK yes! TRIP Sweet... TRIP Hey, hey, uh -- why don't you, um... invite that woman in accounting you were telling me about... um... TRIP What was her name... TRIP Veronica? GRACE Who? TRIP Uhh... Oh! Uh, it's, uh, she -- she -- she's a, she -- she's this -- (interrupted) MARK She is dead. TRIP Okay, Mark, you know what? I think you should leave. MARK There was a horrible chemical accident. (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP We'll be fine -- you just have to go. MARK why? (Trip closes the front door.)